3 Steps for Killing Stress Now
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3 Steps for Killing Stress Now
Stress. At its best it is improving your physical nature and mental ability. At it’s worst it is a crippling bully that refuses to leave your side. Stress can be a humble servant or a fiery master, depending on the approach you take towards it.
Stressed Out
Like any other stimulus, it can take on a number of forms; however, all types of it fall into one of two categories. You normally have positive stress, which everything from lifting weights to solving a Sudoku puzzle, as well negative stress, which could be a family member dying to even being late for your doctor’s appointment. These labels are merely for convenience, as it is ultimately up to you how you interpret them.
Photo by _nickd
Positive Stressors vs. Negatives Stressors
Each and every time you receive a stress, be it mental or physical, you have two choices. You can view it positively or you can view it negatively. To deem everything in a negative light will surely kill your spirits, and most likely your body will be soon to follow. This is why our goal is to kill all stress, before it kills you.
The three-pronged approach
Ideally then you should try to limit all negative stress, handle what’s remaining, and view everything as positive stress.
1. Physically limit the amount of actual negative stress. This is not an easy route, but it can be extremely helpful. This involves taking yourself out of situations that you would normally find negatively stressful. If you constantly get stressed out in a relationship, be it friendly or romantic, it may be time to rethink how important that relationship is to you. It can also mean changing things on a smaller level. If always showing up late has been given you a lot of negative stress, maybe it is time to make a conscious decision to change that bad habit.
Remember, it is always your decision to consciously accept negative stress from someone else. If you are on the receiving end of an insult or something negative, don’t accept it! All you have to do is say, or even just think, that you are not willing to accept their abuse right now. This may sound obvious, but it is something that I had to program myself to do. You do not have to accept such treatment, and doing this forces them to keep their so-called “gift”! Developing this as a habit was truly life changing.
2. Better handle that negative stress that just won’t quit. Okay, none of us are perfect, and if you are, what are you doing reading this anyway? This is why this part is so important. By now you have made an effort to limit the amount of actual stress you do receive, which is a great thing to start off with, and you will see drastic improvements just from that. What do you do now? Train your mind to be like water.
Mind Like Water
There is an old adage, about training your mind to be more stable. Picture a calm body of water, perhaps a lake. That lake is extremely calm and still. So still, in fact, that it perfectly reflects the mountains and part of the sky in the background, like a mirror image. Now, drop a huge boulder into that lake. A large splash occurs and there are ripples far and wide. Eventually, that lake will return to its previous calm state.
Now, take that huge boulder and make it transform into a tiny pebble. If you now drop that pebble into the lake, there will be barely any splashes or ripples. Training your mind to be more stable is like making that rock smaller. By making that active decision to view negative stress as positive stress you have already started that journey. If you still have something that is bothering you, however, view your problem like a pebble instead of a boulder. Tell yourself that it isn’t a big deal, and know that it isn’t.
With enough “training”, all of this will become second nature. This is how the current Dalai Lama,Tenzin Gyatso, took the loss of his country, Tibet, with such stride: he had an extremely stable mind. Even the most depressing of news can be handled by attempting to view it in a positive light and by actively making it smaller or placing less importance on it.
3. Change negative stress into positive stress. What kind of stress you are receiving is a decision you make. Negative and positive are just labels you put on any kind of stress you receive.
Stop! Whatever you are doing right now, stop doing it. I want you to take something that has been bothering you, what is giving you negative stress, and tell yourself, “I absolutely love how…” and fill in whatever is stressing you out. This is going to be your mantra for the next week. When you say it, conjure up images of love and compassion. Try to actually love whatever it is, just as much, if not more, as you love this blog! You have the power to change anything and everything from negative stress to positive stress!
Try all of this out and let me know how it goes!
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January 29th, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Hi, Chris:
I’ll be the first to comment! I’ve had my share of negative and positive stress, and been to seminars for stress management! I even suggest to massage clients other approaches to handling stress.
Your suggestion of starting with that statement..” I absolutely love how…(whatever is stressing you out)” is excellent! You are definitely right in telling the reader that he/she does have the power to change any negative stress into a positive stress.
I suggest that a person go within and learn to focus on various rhythyms of breathing. Inhaling slow to a five count, or seven second count, holding it and exhaling the same way can induce relaxation. Feeling and visualizing tension leaving the body while exhaling can also be very beneficial, and this can allow a person to let go of negative stress.
Each person is unique, of course, and can decide which stress relieving technique to use, which one feels right to do. The key is to Learn various ones and to JUST DO IT!
Practice, Practice, Practice with Patience!
Take care!
Peace, Joy and Prosperity!
LMTKay
January 30th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
That was such a well written, thought out post. Stress can cause the body so much harm. The importance of stress relief is huge.
January 31st, 2008 at 12:39 am
Kay,
Thanks for your kind words. I completely agree that it is very possible to change all stress to positive stress. I really like the breathing techniques as well. I know how well those can be implemented to calming you down.
Rebecca,
Thanks a lot! I know if I didn’t have stress relief techniques, I’d probably need to be heavily medicated.
January 31st, 2008 at 9:46 am
Useful article, Interesting idea to change negative stress into positive stress
January 31st, 2008 at 10:08 am
Chris,
I totally agree. the concept of negative versus positive stress is something that is subjective. What is positive for one person may be taken in a negative light no another. Just like the concept of right and wrong. There is no universal acceptance of what is right or wrong, or stress wise, negative or positive. The ability to look at things in a positive light can transform the massive boulder of negative stress into a pebble or grain of sand. Because it is something subjective, and therefore a matter of interpretation, it is entirely up to the person experiencing it as to whether or not they are going to let it effect them in a negative way. I use this technique daily. I often find that if someone is going to insult me, it is almost humorous. I know that what they are saying is wrong and is meant to be hurtful, but something in that persons day had driven them to that extreme and I am grateful that I am not that bad, also, if it makes that person feel better, its done no harm to me so what’s the difference. when we step back and look at all the things that make us upset in this world, we realize that the vast majority of them are petty and not worth a second thought months or years later, so why let them control us now. rockin post, man!
Blake
January 31st, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Tejvan,
Thanks for the comment, and I appreciate your kind words.
Giant,
Your user name speaks volumes to the length, and quality, of your posts and comments. I really appreciate it, so keep it up!
I agree, it is completely subjective. If you can find insults humorous, the battle is pretty much over. I’d love to be able to do that every time, but I think I still have some work left to do. I just try to tell myself that they might either be having a bad day, or that they actually didn’t mean to come across in such a negative manner.