Curing Happiness: What It Means And Why You Need To
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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley
Curing Happiness: What It Means And Why You Need To
Those among us not ready to seek out true happiness will choose, instead, the road most traveled. They will fret not the signs along the way, pointing them in another direction, nor the fact that they have gotten truly, and utterly, lost on their journey. It is on this paved path then, where many before have wandered aimlessly, that they will find themselves without ever really finding themselves.
What they had sought for was happiness, but what they had gotten was anything but. If only they had known that before ever achieving happiness, you must cure yourself from your own notion of it.
We are told on a constant basis that without joy, there is sorrow, but what of sorrow? We are told that without peace, there is war, but what of war? We are even told that without love, there is nothing, but, again, what of nothing? What we are not told of is happiness, or how it can be found within feelings of sorrow, in times of war, and even when we feel that nothing is all that is left. This is because happiness is not outside ourselves, but rather, within us all.
Among many people, “I’ll be happy once I…” is said often enough to be considered a daily affirmation, yet it is believed strongly enough to become more like a prayer. And like that carrot dangling forever out of reach of the horse’s mouth, happiness too is not reached. Never did it stand a chance.
Curing Yourself
Close your eyes, and try to remember a feeling you got when you were complimented on your work, personality, or looks. Now contrast that feeling with a time when your only praise came from within. Do you know the difference? One was self-glorification and the other was self-fulfillment. Only one is happiness.
Self-glorification is a worldly feeling, it is not happiness. Someone else can’t give you the gift of happiness. Self-fulfillment, on the other hand, is a feeling that reverberates from the depths of your soul. This is true happiness because it is generated from within.
Oftentimes your ego will cloud your judgement, making it hard to see the difference between the two, but there is a strong one. Knowing the difference is crucial in curing yourself of your false beliefs about what happiness is and what it isn’t.
False Beliefs
This is where our society gets it wrong. They have programmed into us the belief that the approach to happiness should be that the end justifies the means. If you do enough, have enough, or accomplish enough, you will somehow end up “happy.” Unfortunately, happiness is not actually pursued, rather, it is put on hold.
To feel that self-glorification is happiness, or that happiness does indeed come from outside ourselves, is a false belief. And to perpetuate this false belief is to block yourself from true happiness entirely.
Call to Action
So practice innocence, detachment, acceptance, modesty, and gentleness. Inquire only from within. Rid yourself from any false beliefs of happiness and you are home free. Every moment of your life you are faced with a choice: whether or not to be happy. Choose happiness and take the road less traveled instead.
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February 7th, 2008 at 9:03 am
I enjoyed reading this, thanks for reminding me of inner happiness.
February 7th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Hello My Stumble Upon, Blogger Friend !!!******
Thank you for letting me know about this post, Great waking up to the sound of Truth !!!******
True Happiness Radiating from a connection with our Divine Self.
Thank you for drawing out the difference between Worldly Happiness and the Happiness Known when we go inside and get to know our Higher Self, our Divine Source for True Abundance.
All the Best My Friend !!!******
February 7th, 2008 at 10:25 am
ya I have no qualms with this post. I have felt the same way for a long time. it is also in tune with several religions. I know that zen buddhism feels exactly the same way about enlightenment. It is not something you find, or something that you should want. you are already enlightened, everyone is. the question is how you realize this. it is not as simple as happiness to just “be” enlightened unfortunately, but it is easy, relatively to be happy. Just be happy. Ride your emotions of course, but dont let them run your life. if your sad, be sad, but dont sulk. if you feel you should be happy or want to be happy, just be happy. you already have it within yourself to be whatever you want. conquering the mind requires no real physical effort. you do not have to climb the corporate pyramid, or climb mount everest. you already have it within you and there are no secrets to attain it, just be happy.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Fat Man,
Thanks for the comment! Inner happiness is the only happiness.
Greg Lunger,
No problem!I “…our Higher Self, our Divine Source for True Abundance.” Great line! I couldn’t agree more, look to yourself for true abundance!!
Giant,
Definitely. Zen Buddhism aligns with this concept very well. Fortunately, for all the practice it requires, you gain benefits even before you become enlightened. While you can train yourself to become even more happy, by making the decision to just be as happy as you can be right now, you are already one step on your way.
Conquering the mind doesn’t require any real physical effort, but that is only because the mind is not physical. I would say that fully conquering the mind requires more effort than climbing mount everest and then some! What do you think?
February 7th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I disagree. perhaps it is perception itself that allows us to think it is a huge obstacle. for instance, the depressed person cannot for the life of them see how someone could be happy. it is beyond them, it seems so ludicrous that it should be so easy to do, just be happy. that is the only part that is the same or harder than climbing mt. everest. however, ehn you overcome your depression, it seemed so stupid that you could have been so dense and not just be happy. it is like being a different person who cant understand the other person. after climbing mt. everest, i would like to find someone who said that was easy and why are all these other people complaining. one is just a matter of perspective and one physically will force your body to eat itself to survive and causes many deaths not from a lack of mental thoughness, but becuase of luck and the physical danger is real. if people could summit everest just using their minds, i would think there would be much less danger and physical hardship. though I may be skewing this logic. It seems right to me, and as someone who was once quite confused and depressed, being happy seems much easier to me now, though I have hardly mastered it, than climbing everest. however, that is one of my goals as well so ill let you know once I climb it.
February 7th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Conquering the mind and being happy are two different things. You haven’t conquered the mind when you have decided to be happy, in fact, you are only on your way.
So, let me get this straight. You feel as if climbing Mount Everest is more difficult than attaining enlightenment, whatever that may be? If so, I would disagree with you on all counts.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
haha, no. enlightenment is something that I have not realized and certainly would be harder than climbing everest. We were talking about becoming happy right? The opposite of happiness is sadness. sadness over a long time without a feeling that there is a way to be happy is depression. sadness, depression, happiness; these are all mental. to conquer these things is to conquer part of your mind. you alone are able to do that and only you. nothing stands in your way and there is no reason that you shouldnt be able to conquer these things. not elightenment, just the three we are talking about. and to a depressed person, its not as easy as just deciding to be happy, you must really conquer something within yourself, but, because it is internal and within yourself, and anyone can do this…again not talking about enlightenment…i feel that this is easier than climbing everest since everest is not only largely mental, but also largely physical. thats twice as many things as something mental. not only that, but there luck that is also a major player in summiting that peak. though you could say the same with overcoming depression and just being happy. then again, at times like this where i find myself analyzing something, i feel more detached from it, so in this instance, I will take the zen perspective and not think about it, and just do it. perhaps on this level they can be compared to be the same. I got over being depressed, but again, ill let you know which was harder after I climb that mountian. sometimes words can make things seem very inspiring, but i think the best things in life are those which cant be spoken of in words, they just are. like happiness.
February 8th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Well, when you said the words “conquering the mind” I thought you meant more than just happiness.
In my opinion, to become happy, one does not need to conquer the mind. One simply needs to make the conscious choice on being happy. Conquering the mind would involve much, much more. In some way, I can see how it would be fair to say you are conquering part of your mind, especially if that mind is a depressed one.
But what about the varying degrees of happiness? Does that not leave room for more conquering and further exploration?
You often use the example of someone who is depressed. To be depressed, you must have been happy at some point, right? Otherwise, that would be the only emotional state you knew and you would have no idea to even reach for happiness, as you wouldn’t have tasted its sweet nectar.
Someone who is depressed is an extreme example. It is someone who has probably gone in and out of being happy, or at least some fragment of it, and their current state is one of depression. This can be related to Mount Everest. Using another extreme example, I will bring up the idea of a sherpa. To a sherpa, do you really think that climbing Mount Everest is difficult? Many can do it extremely quickly and often without the aid of oxygen.
What if that sherpa was depressed? Would it be fair to say that, in their opinion, conquering that part of their own mind would be more difficult than climbing Mount Everest? Is it not all a simple matter of perspective?
February 8th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
I love this post! And I love the title…I knew you could do something brilliant with it
February 9th, 2008 at 12:16 am
A very eye opening post. I would really love to hear about the process of this. I feel that I am on a spiritual journey, that we all are. To find the inner self and lose the trappings we thing we need so badly. I really loved this. How does this begin? Is it an attainable goal? I believe the journey leads you to that peace, and that awareness of our inner happiness. How has your journey begun?
February 9th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Kate,
Thanks a lot!
Rebecca,
The journey begins by making the choice to be happy. It can only come from you. Nothing, and no one, can make you happy or unhappy, as it is only internal.
February 9th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Hi Chris very interesting blog on happiness. It was thought provoking, and as usual- it was very well written.
I feel happiness is very attainable. After spending years reading self help books, finally the lessons I have learned are beginning to make sense.
Everything in the universe is there to support me. The universe is not against me, it is for me.
I have decided to look for the lessons and gifts that are right here in my daily life.
In other words what I appreciate–WILL APPRECIATE. Does that make any sense?
Most of us hover around our happiness set point.
50 % of our happiness is genetic, 10% is our circumstances, and 40% has to do with our habits, thoughts and behaviors.
We can raise our happiness set point without becoming thinner, richer and smarter.
We just have to decide to do it.
It really is so simple, isn’t it?
February 9th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Deborah,
“In other words what I appreciate–WILL APPRECIATE. Does that make any sense?” Yes! It makes perfect sense.
“50 % of our happiness is genetic, 10% is our circumstances, and 40% has to do with our habits, thoughts and behaviors.” This is where I disagree with you. 100% of our happiness is internal. It is a choice we make. I don’t even think 10% has to do with our circumstances.
February 9th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Now come on, we all have had different circumstances in our lives, and that does affect who we are. I do believe being happy is a choice. I also believe that for some people it is easier to attain than for others. Therefore I stand by my 10% circumstance theory.
February 10th, 2008 at 7:53 am
Deborah,
I agree that we all have had different circumstances in life. This is what makes life so amazing; in its variety, in its different circumstances, we are allowed to blossom.
It’s easier to be happier, no doubt, when times are going well. This is because all of us still have the tendency to find happiness outside of ourselves. But the true test is whether or not you can be happy in the worst of times. Like I said in the article, I think you can be happy even in the worst of times. Why? Because being happy is a choice you, and only you, can make.
There was an interesting study done that compared the relative amount of happiness felt by paraplegics and lottery winners one year after the event (losing their limbs, winning the lottery). They both reported the same level of happiness relative to how they felt before. What does this mean?
It means that happiness can only come from within. Hedonistic desires may cause us great pleasure, but not true happiness. No amount of wealth, security, good looks, or anything external can do that.
February 10th, 2008 at 9:34 am
I have this quote on my desk and think about it every day.
“NINE REQUISITES FOR HEALTHY LIVING:
Health enough to make work a pleasure.
Wealth enough to support your needs.
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
Clarity enough to see some good in your neighbor.
Love enough to move you to be useful to others.
Faith enough to make real the things of God.
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.”
Johan Wolfgang von Goethe
German poet dramatist and scientist 1749-1832
February 10th, 2008 at 10:58 am
Deborah,
In Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut, the main character, Billy Pilgrim, had something on the wall at his office that reminds me a lot of your quote. It goes like:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
February 10th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
That is also the motto for Alcoholics Anonymous, I believe, Wise words for any reason.
February 11th, 2008 at 6:22 am
Rebecca,
Is it really? It’s a great line, so I can believe it.
February 15th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Great article!